Writer's Block

I started writing a story. And it was a good one too. I came up with the idea myself, with a little help from a friend. And after a lot of preparation for the story, I started writing it. Oh boy, did I ever write it. The words came to me so easily, more than ever before. I found myself sitting at my computer for hours and hours, churning out page after page, chapter after chapter. It was almost scary how easy it was. I've always loved writing, but this was new. I was never this excited for a story, it kept my interest for so long. The more I wrote, the more I wanted to write.

Everything was going smoothly. I knew I was going to finish the story, and it was going to be the best thing I'd ever written. The kinda thing that puts everything else I've penned to shame. But then things started slowing down. Words weren't coming to me as easily. I had to fight to come up with even a page. But I did it anyway, and it was worth it. Because I knew that with every page, I was one step closer to finishing the story of a lifetime.

Even with as hard as it was to write, I still loved the story because it was my own, and I had never written anything so special. But it became even more difficult to write, to the point where I would sometimes go days without typing a single word. "This isn't right," I told myself. "If this story is so amazing, then why is it so hard?"

Now, there had been times like this before, even during the early days of writing the story. But it had always still been easy. I just sat down and powered through the difficult pages, and I always made it through. It was still easy. This time was different though.

Which brings us to the present.

As I sit here, staring at hundreds of pages on my computer, I think about what it took to write them, and all the amazing times I had doing it. It's been weeks since I've written anything of value. The most I've done is type a couple pages, only to rip them up and throw them away. Now I wonder if I'll be able to finish the story at all. I want to. God knows, I want to. But it may not be possible. And I'm a little (a lot) scared if I don't. Because then maybe it was all for nothing. I don't want to lose this story because it means so much to me. But I know that I might.

Hopefully I'll be able to finish the story. All I can do now is just keep writing no matter what. Maybe I'll type myself into a corner, and write an ending that comes all too soon. But that fear is not going to stop me from trying. One way or another, I'm finding the end to this story. I may not like it, but I'm finishing what I started.

I just have to.