Decisions, decisions...

I'm a sportswriter. Let's get that out of the way to start with. But I struggle a lot with sticking to just one thing. I was hired on to write sports for my college's newspaper, but often drifted into the news section where some of my favorite (and most popular) articles came from. This year, I'm the sports editor on that same paper, but I have several ideas for non-sports stories. And a blog that was intended to be just about sports occasionally drifts into other, more serious conversations.

This is going to be a little of both.

As much as I love sports, I realize not to take them (or myself) too seriously. Believe me, I used to be that guy everyone hates. The one who eats, sleeps, and breathes sports. But not anymore. I still have that love, but I don't let it define who I am. And I'm a better journalist for it. Keeping a safe (but still close) distance has helped me to overcome biases which crept into my writing before. And now, I can enjoy sports more, because a football game doesn't seem like as much work when it's not everything you do. I can still be a fan.

Above all, using this blog as a personal journal as much as a public forum has helped return me to the reason I love writing; the reason I started in the first place: it's therapeutic to me; it calms my very soul. The first time I really sat down at a computer to write was in January of a very bad year. The Bengals and Broncos (my two favorite teams at the time) had both missed the playoffs by a game. But Denver suffered a far greater loss. Star cornerback Darrent Williams was shot to death outside a club on New Years. The Michigan Wolverines former head football coach Bo Schembechler passed away around the same time. So much stuff like this just kept piling on.

Looking back, I realize how small these "difficulties" were. I would give anything for my heaviest burdens to revolve around people I've never met. But at the time it really mattered. And writing about it was the best way I found to deal with it.

The problems have gotten worse over time; the burdens harder to bear. But I've never stopped writing, and I'm glad I haven't. Because when the going gets tough, I can always flip open my red laptop and start typing what's on my mind. My keyboard has never let me down. I can tell it everything. From the greatest dreams of my heart, to the worst fears of my mind, and even how I really think the Bengals will do this season.

I am, after all, still a sportswriter.